A lesson learned that all need to learn!

Something I want to address quickly, something that my whole life I’ve never been good at and the starting parts of my mission was also not very good at until last transfer with Elder Choi in Xin Zhu. I learned the most important principle I could have learned on my mission and in life. The Fear of God and not Man. My whole life I’ve lived by the standards of man, I lived according to the wants and desires of man. What does this person think of me, if I do this what will others think about me, If this If that!! All about others and their opinions toward me. That drove me to many decisions including who to date, what to play, etc.... This is a decision at the time that I thought was just natural and what everyone does, but oh how wrong was I. Before my mission to be totally honest God didn't play a huge role in my life, I’m not saying that He didn't want to, but that I didn't allow Him too. I was all about worldly this and worldly that. It controlled my life. But it was normal so it didn't matter. Even on my mission, in My first few areas with sky rocketing numbers and people getting baptized we were able to stay somewhat humble but always the thought was there, oh president will see this, oh what will "they" think when they see these numbers. I was wronged by Satan. I lived a life not of my own and the one that the Lord wanted me to live. I lived a life that wasn't improved as quickly as it should have been and as productive as it should have been. Oh man If I don't get on and play xbox with my best friends (yeah the ones I met playing xbox live last night at 5 in the morning, who don't have a bigger vocabulary then the 10 swear words, and talk garbage behind everyone's back) they will not want to play with me anymore. Who cares about my little sister who is 7, upstairs playing, who cares about my brother who is 2 years younger than me, He doesn't deserve my time. Xbox, and those so called "friends" over ran my family. I can't come to prayer and scriptures I said, I’m playing a match. But then instead of having a spiritual uplifting time with my loving parents and family members, because we lost the match I'd end the night yelling at my younger brother whom I was playing with, or blaming him for the loss of a worthless game, That doesn't matter one tiny, tiny bit. Oh how worthless I was and how much less then dirt I was treating my family members like that. I have eternal sorrow for the way I treated my family, you guys, and my younger brother whom I played the worthless game with!! Something I didn't understand is that the time with him was important but the game wasn't!! Oh how selfish I was.....I’m so sorry for serving man over God. Since last transfer I’ve been changed by the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ, He has led me and guided me down the path that I should have been traveling the whole days of my life. The path that leads to happiness, happiness not from winning a pointless game on x box, but godly happiness with my family forever. That pain that influences my life and brings me down ever so often has been wiped away. It comes back all the time just to remind me how wronged I was and never to go back. I will never touch a game system ever again. I will serve my family till I die, and into the life to come because they are my light and my life. They helped me through everything that I went through. They were always by my side. How deeply hurt I am for serving man and not God. I know that serving God brings true inner happiness. No more faking happiness on the outside and being crumpled on the inside. We can be truly happy on both sides, through the Lord Jesus Christ. This last week we found more investigators then I’ve found before on my mission. We received praise from all around us, members, missionaries, assistants. I was told by our zone leaders how amazing our week was. But you know what, that is great, but what is even better is the Lord knows that we sanctified that week to Him and gave it our all, and that is why he blessed us with the results that we ended up with. I have absolutely no temptation to get a number just so some other missionary will see it, I’m serving the Lord. I will talk to that guy regardless of his reaction to me or the others around him because I know that's what the Savior wants. I have a lot of weaknesses, but I know my strength in my testimony of the Reality of The Savior Jesus Christ will get me through all!!!! I’m so grateful for the change the Savior has wrought inside of me. Not just on the outside, but truly a change of heart. I love this work, and my life. I testify that the second we Fear man and try to satisfy man we will be unhappy, because man is never satisfied. But the second we start fearing God we will be happy, and know that we can be satisfied also that our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ will also be happy and satisfied with our actions and works. I know this work is true. I know that we all need to stop fearing Man or we are in big trouble. Because in the end "Man" will become extinct because of "Man's" wickedness. Don't wear those clothes to fit in, worry about the girls do and don't like you, or what other people will think about your righteous actions. Know that God lives; He gives us living prophets to help us and guide us. I testify when we do what the Lord wants us to do we are successful in life, regardless of what we do or don't have.

I know that God Lives! I know that the Jesus is the Christ and redeemer of this world!!

This is my humble testimony as a servant of the Lord, in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.